This machine kills fascists.

Nothing says "true love" like "I'd prefer if you were fundamentally changed to soothe my low self-esteem".

XXYYXX - Overdone ft. Anneka.

---

Been in a funk all week and now, god fucking dammit, I completely blanked out and forgot to go sit in an important class last night. Fucking hell.

I don't want to be a trendy asshole, but I really admire this guy. This too.

Laid in a bed with Jess about three years ago while watching Up In The Air. Particularly sad and depressing film. Protagonist is no longer able to convince himself of the satisfaction of his solitary lifestyle, tries to break out of it by pursuing the escalation of a casual relationship. Complete dead end as he discovers she has a family and so he sinks back into his routine, though much more morose and hopeless than before.

Pretty depressed most of the day thinking about the test. My score is going to be good enough to go to the places I want to go to, but it still would have been nice to have it be something high enough that I could truly be proud of. Hate that I worked my ass off for the past two months and it all came down to seriously bad luck.

Finished the test. Huge feeling of relief, not so much that the test is over, but that the pressure and nervousness of taking the test is no longer here. Short lived as now I'm freaking out in speculation of what my score is going to be.

It didn't go horribly, but it wasn't as good as it should have been. The LSAT designers threw a curve-ball in the games section, showing a game I've never seen before and completely stumped me. Probably only got 82/100 instead of 88-91/100, which would have been an amazing score (on par with Yale students, the highest scoring LSAT students in the world). All things considered, this is extremely disappointing.

I always knew there was something I seriously disliked about Richard Dawkins. I always thought it was his fucking arrogant, stardom, in it only for money and fame attitude, turns out he's also generally a dick.

Because someone asked... Top five greatest games of all time and then some.

1. Final Fantasy VII
2. Warcraft 3
3. Ultima Online
4. Zelda: A Link to the Past
5. Dragon Age: Origins

Other amazing games in no order at all: Doom 2, every Elder Scrolls title, Counter-Strike, Dark Age of Camelot, Heroes of Might and Magic 3, Blood Bowl, Shadowbane, Diablo, SimTower, Harvest Moon 64, Super Mario 64, Mario Cart 64, Age of Empires 2, Half-Life 2, Command and Conquer: Red Alert, Pokemon R&B, Tribes 2, Dungeon Keeper 2, Might and Magic: Dark Messiah, Ultima 9, Wing Commander Prophecy.

Thanksgiving Day. I went ahead and bought Zelda: A Link to the Past (one of the top five greatest games ever made) and another to reward myself for my LSAT work and diligence. One more week of studying... I would say one more week of hell, but I actually rather enjoy the work - to a certain extent and ignoring the pressure.

Dancing Queen, Hair, and Josh. If I'm not more careful one of these times I ask a girl to marry me they're going to take me serious.

Drove up to Nevada City last night to meet Crazy B and see if she actually existed. Turned out I was stood up, set up, or something else because I reject girls and shouldn't, should spend my time alone, should stop being amused by girls, respect pathetic and insecure girls, realize that they are special?, or some other shit.

Showed the bartender the texts, had a laugh and a drink with her, and then walked to my friend's house to grab her and her roommate, and back to the bar to get shit faced. First time really being in Nevada City for something other than racing, reminded me a lot of north Oregon.

This girl I haven't talked to since... December? started texting me a few weeks ago asking if I'm still attracted to her and blah blah. She then proceeded to tell me I'm attracted by looks and not personality and lighting my phone up with pictures of herself.

Another girl I apparently gave my number to in early April decided now was a good time to start texting me. I've literally no memory at all of her and so have been mostly fucking with her or flat out ignoring her. This was enough for her to offer to send me naked pictures of herself.

Something about not sticking my dick in crazy, and crazy girls are crazy comment goes here.

If I had a million dollars, I wouldn't go to law school. Instead I'd move to Oakland, continue to race my bike, and either read and write for five-eight hours a day or get a PhD in history.

But I don't have a million dollars, so two more weeks of constant studying in hopes of 171+.

If one can't sell junk food in the fattest country in the world then there's something wrong with their business.

Rip Hostess. Rip.

Fuck me I wrote a lot of lame poetry in 2003.

Emma's been down and out for about a week now, complete loss of motor function in her rear legs. Not entirely paralyzed as she can still maintain balance before falling over and seems to feel some insignificant amount of pain, but it's obviously not good.

Took her to a Vet, they said they can inject an enzyme into her spine for $3,000 and there's a seventy percent chance of her getting better. It'd be really nice if I could have faith in what the Vet said, but he's clearly motivated by profit first rather than anything else. He seemed nice enough, but nonetheless talking to him and hearing his recommendations felt a lot like taking a car to a mechanic where they pull fast ones on a naive customer. Without elaborating too much on why I felt this way, it just seems a lot of the stuff he stated were inherently contradictory and relied on statistical probability that weren't definite at all.

Right now I'm really inclined to believe Emma is going to improve on her own because she has made improvements over the past week. So long as the improvements continue to occur naturally there's no need to do anything else.

"I love you, but you don't know what you're talking about."
"I love you too."

Self-loathing narcissism.

"I was thinking about becoming a cop."
"Be sure to read Mein Kampf and get a swastika tattoo on your forehead while you're at it."

---

Cccccaaaffffffeeeeeiiieeneneneneeeeneeneneneeeeee

If a source that one previously respected now reaches a different conclusion that one disagrees with one should never try to follow their reasoning, understand why they reached the conclusion they did, or see whether they've started from a different set of assumptions and, if so, ask which set is more reasonable.

Instead, one should block out any dissenting voice from their life. One is absolutely doing the right thing in unsubscribing from any paper that in anyway challenges, rather than reinforces, one's current views. Anyone who states otherwise is wrong. After all, if their opinion was worth anything they would already agree with one, wouldn't they?

This reminds me of that time I was a goblin with a shitty desk job and the girl of my dreams was infatuated with and abused by my nemesis.

Hollywood is making an Ender's Game movie. Not sure why I'm exciting because I know they're going to make it into something completely unrecognizable and am expecting Harry Potter in space.

I don't fuck around, but when I do I don't fuck around.

Prop 37 (GMO Labeling) didn't pass, not even close. How could that not pass, how could people be so against it in such large numbers? Really? I am just fucccccking speechless. And ban on the death penalty failed too, which would have saved $100-130 million dollars per year. Not to mention the ban of unions donating to political campaigns was dangerously close to passing...

California really is a dipshit red state when it comes to anything other than Federal elections.

Every sheep is allowed to vote for a shepherd.

---

So these Harvard students can find a way to launch a hamburger into space, film it, set up a parachute for its fall back to Earth, and attach GPS tracking to later recover it, but they can't find out how to get it down from a tree? Fucking geeks.

Actually reminded me a lot of the book, "Bringing Down the House" about a bunch of students from MIT who are so absolutely brilliant that they are fucking retarded.

The Valve Source Filmmaker is probably the most underrated software ever released - and it's totally free. A group of kids can literally make a full length film with animation on par with Hollywood over the course of a year together.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTPysJyj7j4

The only drawback of seeing close friends after a huge intermission is being asked about past girlfriends and the scoop of how things went down. Been pretty good about out of sight and out of mind for awhile now, but the recent influx of intermittent conversations with her as the main topic has brought it all back to the forefront. I think it's time to end my off season and start training again.

---

"Last night, I entered Central Park at midnight. I chased exhaustion as hard as I could, crested a hill without getting close. Descending fast, no hands, no helmet, a stinging on my face. I wanted July back. I never imagined a month could swell so fat with promise. It was just a spin, I see now, just a fast and furious spin. Someday I will look back with bemusement and calm. I see that, too. But in the park, at midnight, I just wanted to forget, to catch up to numbness. So I pedaled."

"There's no room for logic between us."
"Oh, I see, a logic free marriage. Will the divorce be logical?"

As much as I want to get a job/house in a city and start partying and hooking up with girls every night, hell - even just get on a steel frame and tour the country for a year before law school starts, big things are happening with Team Mike's Bikes. We've doubled our team budget with a new title sponsor (Incase), added fucking Daniel Holloway and Adam Switters to the roster (OH SHIT YES), and planning a two month long road trip to all the NCC on the East Coast... Well, here comes another year of shaved legs and tan lines.

Also disgusted by one of my teammates from 2012. Long story short, my team's management was absolutely awesome and patient to him for two years and he pulled some shady ass team-hopping shit this past week. It's just... the management puts a ton of effort and energy into the team for zero monetary compensation whatsoever, they deserve not to be fucked around with and lied to.

Spent the past week/Halloween in Hollywood with Josh, Summer, Sabrina. Absolutely insane how many people were out and about. Went as a Party Down caterer and even though everyone is fucking lame because they didn't know who I was supposed to be, I don't think I had ever been hit on that much in a night. I still got it. :D

Chomsky giving a fantastic impromptu lecture on the history of propaganda: 1920 - Obama/Romney 2012 where he discusses "the dysfunctional election and media systems that contribute to the maintenance of a closed and rigged government advancing the agendas of corporations and the wealthy."

9/5/12.

"I hate this, only 9am and I keep falling asleep at work."
"Fucking go to the Dentist for the first time in three years and get some real problems."

My team credited me as teammate of the year last night. Autographed picture of Lance Armstrong is the obvious swag highlight. Tremendously grateful to all of Team Mike's Bikes for 2012 and convincing me it wasn't a mistake to come back to the sport. Really proud of my selfless riding this year and ecstatic to be recognized for it like this. Love, kisses, xoxo.

"90% of people marry their 7th-12th grade love. Since u have read this, u will be told good news 2 night. If u don't post this on 9 comments your worst week starts now."
"Jesus Christ all-mighty, PLEASE LET MY WORST WEEK START NOW!"

I don't want to write a woe is me, woe is me post so I'll just say: fuck. It fucking sucks horribly right now.

---

I'm over it.

Bloody hell, the girl who played Casey in Party Down also played Janis in Mean Girls. MIND FUCKING BLOWN I NEVER KNEW THAT WHAT THE FUCK. Only realized this because I had to verify whether or not I saw her in Freaks and Geeks, which is a fucking fantastic show chocked full of practically all my favorite actors.

Also, even though it wasn't intended, Mean Girls is pretty much Freaks and Geeks in movie form - which I think is really cool.

So I've been pumping out non-stop eight-ten hour study sessions for the past week and a half, pounding coffee and considering adderall. Brain is already starting to feel like mush...

Went to CSUS today. Felt weird walking around the campus, seeing posters/flyers, new electronic billboards, current students (fuck they look young). Had serious negative feelings, more disgust than nostalgia, and I'm not sure why.

A story about a guy driving the country and visiting every major airport over and over again, mixing vials of his HIV positive blood in with the bathroom's soap dispensers.

A story about a guy who body swaps into a lady and deals with sexism, molestation, and rape.

Sure, yah, religion is horse shit, blah blah blah, but this really warms my heart.

Just as a heavy rainfall can be cleansing, the best approach to maintain a healthy relationship is to store up all your petty grievances and then unload them all at one time on your partner.

Going to a wedding later. Primary goal of the day is to catch the bride's leg thingy.

---

I didn't catch the garter. My life is fucking miserable now.

Strive to survive causing the least suffering possible.

USADA released it's 1000 page dossier on Lance, Bruyneel, and some other shit stick doping doctors. It contains testimony from practically every American teammate Lance has ever had as well as many staff from the team.

I want to celebrate Betsy and Frank Andreu, David Walsh, Paul Kimmage, Emma O'Reilly, and many others who spoke first about Lance before they were forced to. They stuck to the truth even as they were harassed by Lance's PR and legal teams and further harassed and ostracized by willfully ignorant Lance fans everywhere.

Cannot thank these people enough for the honest work they have done and continue to do, and the bravery they've demonstrated. They are true role models and this world needs more people like them.

And a resounding FUCK YOU FUCK OFF to the people throughout my life who tried to make me feel stupid or belittle me whenever I called Lance a doper or I supported USADA.

I read this article about how to get back into your house if you locked yourself out. The author recommended hiding a "bump" key outside to slam into the lock to reset the pins and loosen the locking mechanism to unlock the door.

That's cool and all, but why not just hide a spare key?

Life is like a penis: very simple, relaxed, and just hanging freely. It's women who make it hard...

Well, started studying for LSAT round two. Scheduling goals and deadlines I want to meet before I take the test. Printed out a list of fifty of the top schools in the country and their average LSAT score for student's attending to help motivate me. Have a feeling this is all going to be an effort in vain as I'm just going to end up going to McGeorge, but hopefully my score will be high enough to warrant a discount to tuition.

"I want you."
"When and where?"